Cogitated & Digested

I'm at a complete loss as to what to do with myself at the moment. I want to rant and rave but I can see how it will look from my very rational brain and, frankly, I don't want to appear so pathetic.

What I have done is finally got through a lot of the physical detritus in my home with piles for the charity shop and recycling, sorting the bills and personal documents and up to date on washing and chores.

The emotional detritus? Well, that I ain't so sure about.

To slaughter some 19th century playwright and general quipmaker "To be blown out once may be considered an accident, for it to happen twice in about 12 hours is nothing short of carelessness".

God knows what is happening, so many restrictions have gradually been put in place that I don't know which stand anymore. I don't know what I am and am not allowed to do. I don't think there is an innocent explanation; and in truth I'm more concerned for the other rather than me, knowing what may well be happening this week.

I feel like being completely and utterly selfish today and blow the usual safeguards I have for myself out of the water.

For sure this will be a one day thing and tomorrow I'll return to normal and  tell myself "If that was the worst thing to happen to you then it wasn't such a bad day".

But today I'm going to fume and think about what should really be mine.

Great bass guitar riff into some great strings and a soul stomper!

Why bananas are a parable for our times

Enlightening piece about monoculture and diversity. The humble banana may soon be no more.

On a set of nights on the party shift at the moment. It being Saturday night last night we had the usual fayre of overindulgence. Overindulgence is a particularly nice term for people not caring about lying down with vomit in their hair or people attempting to mete out their own form of bizarre justice. I'm just lucky I'm not on the party shift on the payday weekend!

Looking forward to my week off that starts this Friday coming. I had a lovely time with HairDye and Sand just prior to starting my nights. Little steps.

And when I'm back from hol's not long till this!

Winehouse bailed over drug arrest

Available at that website and a many more I'm sure.

I've followed Amy Winehouse since I heard her first single Stronger Than Me in 2003, and saw her on her first tour. She cuts a very different figure now. This isn't going to be a post proselytising about the path to self destruction. Both her albums, Frank and particularly Back To Black have been of emotional support for good and not so good memories. It's very rare when a significant chunk of an album marries with what you feel at the time; especially when it is done on your favourite style of music.

So this post is a thank you, and a bit of positive thought to her.

What a lovely day today. And my day off too which makes it all the better. This is the view from near where I live.

Well, it's a bit of a cheat because that photo wasn't taken today. You see I had the dilemma today of :
lie-in vs. enjoy best day of the year so far.

The bed won.

It was a well earned win though. And I have also beat the bedroom/papers mess today so productive!

The confusion with Sand persists. Chatting on IM and "Hello sexi" is his greeting. Perturbing from a) the spelling and b) the sudden desire to tell me this. Or is it a jokey type of greeting? Anyway, nice conversation veering from the deep and meaningful to the light and frivolous. I'm "far to nice to him" and "he needs to say thank you somehow". Well, I know how he can thank me but that clearly isn't going to happen! So I say there is no need for him to thank me. Which, really, is what I truly feel. All I ask of my friends is that we can share our lives together and be there for each other, in good and bad times.

Small victory though in that we are going to spend the day together towards the end of June. He is particularly loathe to plan ahead, I haven't quite worked out why, so for him to say yes to something two months in advance is pretty remarkable. Especiallly as it is a surprise and he doesn't know what I have in store.

2010 could still be on...

adverb:
1. Secretly; privately; confidentially.

adjective:
1. Designed to be secret or confidential; secretive; private.

 

Sub rosa comes from the Latin, literally "under the rose," from the ancient association of the rose with confidentiality, the origin of which traces to a famous story in which Cupid gave Harpocrates, the god of silence, a rose to bribe him not to betray the confidence of Venus. Hence the ceilings of Roman banquet-rooms were decorated with roses to remind guests that what was spoken sub vino (under the influence of wine) was also sub rosa.

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What an interesting story. And, I guess in vino veritas. Not that I really go for those shenanigans, though I do like it when a buddy tells me something when they are under the influence. And I do keep it to myself. I like keeping secrets and being a friend's confidant.

I find it harder to "confess" things to my friends though. Probably why this blog is in existence. A bit like a one way valve, a lot of information goes into my head and not a lot comes out. Confidentiality is an important part of my job. And why people can tell me about their personal relationships at work and things they don't tell their own friends and family.

I'm very privileged to have the job I do.